day 15

So my weigh-in sucked, I lost weight since monday (that's only 2 days?!?).. leading to me having to be RIB - Rest in Bed.
Means one additional supplement (Resource), no attending of day program, No walking from room to room (I have to be wheelchair-ed), and no dental appointment tomorrow.
I scared Mom remembering about Dad being wheelchair-bounded... :(
It must be really difficult for her coming to hospital everyday to visit me, just like how she did for Dad.. I feel heartbroken too... Sigh.

She asks me so many questions and assumes so many things that I get irked, but yet I know she does that cos she loves me.. but more importantly, I realized, not just for my sake, but she herself told me that she asks so many questions because it helps her worry less when she is uncertain, when she knows what she can do to help me...
I guess she worries less when she feels "useful" or not helpless?

So many thoughts run through my head... I am tired of sorting them out.
Yet, I feel that once I leave here, life will have to go on.
Hospital environment is just a safe, artificial place.. reality is out there... Here is just an escape?

There's work/school to think about, for one.
Family routines, my ambitions, friends to face or to update... everything else.

Anyway, back to my day.
In the morning I did Art Jam - a free Art Therapy session where today we did clay modelling.
Then lunch had banana :((. Maybe I will slowly get used to it. I hope.
Granny and Mom came after lunch and we just chit-chat.. not much to do and somehow I was tired.
And moody, somehow.. Didn't know what to say or to do.. Sigh again. I feel like a really bad host.

Resource for 3pm.
Watched Mary Poppins (intermittently, haha)
Oh and because of the Urology review thing, I have to measure the amount and the time I pee, plus the amount of water I drink. How troublesome.

On a more cheerful note (or so I hope), during the clay-making I did a magnet and a turtle paper-weight. And yesterday I was making a card for Mother's Day.
Now during meal supervisions while waiting, I have been doodling on the doodling book I bought for myself during exchange! Finally starting it.. haha.

Oh well.
I haven't read the bible today I just realised.
Shall do that... doesn't come naturally yet, or still some sort of reluctance too (why, I can't figure out exactly)..
but I shall.

Till tomorrow.