Every night I can't sleep well, maybe it's really the stress of trying to hold everything together and all the plans.
Today was ok, shared tentative plans with docs about the weekend and that I intend to tell my mom and we'll decide from there.
Honestly, I am afraid of looking one step further from that. How different my life would be with mom in the loop, my job and the treatment plans or options.
Amaria came to visit (she is really too nice I feel bad) and had a good time sharing info wih her... Not complete (lack of time plus I'm soooo complicated) but at least now even though how I think is really weird, she now knows.
Hopefully, it will help me.
Not sure if this program in the day is helping me, but a controlled environment is definitely helping me. It's only physical tho, hopefully the mental part will follow along very soon.
Anyhows, Amaria asked me if I have thought about how and what I am going to convey this to mom... I haven't.
I should really think about how to start and how to be tactful.
But my mind is in a whirlwind and I feel like I need to really stop all these thinking and planning. I can't sleep at night but my eyes is tired and I am drained.
Let me just run and run and release in my dreams with a goodnight.
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